Regret are unavoidable in life

1 Year 11 Months

2010-08-10T15:49:00.002+08:00

Aug 10th, today is our 1 year 11 months... Its been so long already. This r/s have been like a roller coaster ride ups and downs. I dont know what is wrong with us but it seem like we are quarreling more and more, the message and words from you hurt me a lot. Break up is all you want, i guess you have no more feeling for me anymore.

I am lost now what should i do?

It's been so long and I feel so lost, and we said this would last no matter the cost. We tried so hard and pushed so far, but why do I feel so torn apart? I hung my head and began to cry. Why do I continue to just waste time, after all I tried. I've fallen, out of love with you.My heart goes up in flames and I douse it with teardrops

10 months =)

2009-07-10T02:22:00.002+08:00

When I am with you, I feel alive. You bring to me a happiness that no one else ever could. You bring to me a love I have never known before. I could not imagine what my life would be like without you. You have touched my heart in ways no one could ever comprehend. I love being with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Every day I wake up thanking God for you. You have given me so much, and I don't know if I will be able to give back all that you have given me. You have been my guiding light when I was lost. You have been my comforter through all my trials and sorrow. You have been my friend, best friend, my everything.

Sometimes I feel lost and out of touch, but when you’re there, I feel safe. Your voice soothes me. I could sit here and try to tell you just how I feel, but I can't find the words other than I am ecstatic we met and have gotten together after all we've gone through.

I want to tell you that the love I have for you is undying. It is a love that is strong and enduring and will stand the test of time. I truly feel blessed that you have become a part of my life, and I cannot wait for the day that we can join our lives together. I want to lie next to you at night and hug you in my arms. I want to wake to your beautiful smile. I want to share in your joys and sorrows. I want to be your everything, because you are everything to me.

I promise to always love you and always hold you in my heart. I will always be here for you when you need me, and I will love you no matter what life brings us. You are my soul mate, and I vow to love you all eternity. I love you, Jasmine neo =[}

I will be strong

2009-06-23T00:59:00.002+08:00

When i was lost, no one to turn to, starving, worrying about lots of thing all day long. I was just too piss off with my life. I just want to give up. A girl name Jasmine Neo came. She gave me the hope to carry on. The strength to stand up again and this time round, i know i will not be going through this along.

Dear thanks for what u have done for me. I am very very touch. I did tear a little when give me that surprise even though i somehow know it le... Haha can't be blame, is our chemistry too strong le. Telepathy!!!! That subway is the most deciduous i have ever ate because inside i can feel there is a extra ingredient call love. The love you have for me. Dear thanks a lot. Next time will be both of us eating at ...... A secret!!! WAHAHA. U will find out soon.

The reason why i chase after the bus was because i want to spend just a little more time with u. Just a little while more. I did manage to spend 20sec more with u even though u are sitting in the bus while i was chasing after the bus. The expression on your face when u look back makes me want to run even faster. Dear rest assure that no matter which part of this world we are living or where u will be running to, i will go after u. Don't u remember i still haven't fulfill my promise to you. 17 storey here i come!!!

A great day

2009-06-18T03:15:00.008+08:00

Today dear and me went to seng kang there to swim. It is like finally because it has always been jasmine wish to wear her bikini since that day i bought it for her. So after quite some time her wish came through. She was so excited until she FORGOT to bring her camera out so that means no photo for the day but we manage to take one with her phone before her phone die off. My phone is no need to say de spoil until don't know what le no need say got camera a not. Got camera but SPOIL !!!! Sian!!!

I went to pick her up at her place as usual she is still packing her stuff even though i am late. Which means she is even LATER!!! Wahaah, we are the not so early couple! Took 161 from her house to compass point and change to bus 372 to our destination. We went to buy our tickets. The funny thing is mine only cost 80cents hers cost $*.** haha. I laugh at her and she give me that laugh some more i all puck all your hair away face. SCARIER!!!!

Get change and first thing we did in the pool was for me to teach jasmine how to SWIM. Even though she say" i know how to swim a little bit of breaststroke ". She show me her swimming style and it is like now i see u now i don't. Because she swim like a submarine. I taught her the hands movement of the breaststroke. She did great ! After a few round of teaching she master it. She was over the moon and say "yes i can swim le!!!!" Haha silly girl. We take a break in learning the breaststroke as dear want to go play around. We went to sit on the slide. At first i didn't want to play because i SCARE of height. Yes u are right KAHAU is scare of height! She keep asking me to play with her .So i take out my guts and give it a try. To my shock it was fun and we play twice!!!! Hehe.

After that we went to the baby pool to play around and relax ourself. Seeing all the kids running around playing happily in the water and seeing my dear jasmine enjoy herself just make me feel so bless. It doesnt matter how much smiles i put on others but just a smile on dear will be good enough for me.

After all those enjoyment it is back to teach dear how to master next half of the breaststroke. It is my aim to teach her breaststroke and make sure she master it today. I taught her the movement of the legs which is also call "frog kick". She is get it after a few trys! Hooray!!! Now lets put the 2 parts together. You may think it will be quite a challenge but not for jasmine. She did it again after a few try. She keep on practice and practise. While she was practising i went to did a 25m dive closing my eyes using dolphin style. In the end i did reach the end but with my front tooth chip off a bit! Because i can't see and i hit my teeth against the floor of the swimming pool. Don't ask me how i did it because i also don't understand. Now i have weird front teeth. Instead of laughing at me, jasmine show her concern and she keep asking me are u OK dear. At that point of time i felt so xin fu because i know someone in this world cares for me and it is from the bottom of the heart. Thank you my dear.

End of the day she manage to swim one-third of the pool by herself. This is a very good achievement. In a day she manage to learn breaststroke and can swim by herself. This is her first time learning how to swim and her first SWIM after so many years. All this shows that nothing is impossible. As long as you try and never give up u can do it. I am very very proud of her. Just a few more visit to the pool, i can swim side by side with you le. Jia you.

Went back to compass point to have our dinner and send her back home. Piggy back her from her house bus stop all the way up to her house by climbing the stairs. Why by the stairs because it is our secret . It is also my training for my future!!!! Haha.

Dear i hope u enjoy today. Rest well and sleep tight. Sleep dreams!

Kahau love you always.

P.S it is 4.08am le time for me to sleep if not dear dear going to kill me !!!!

Best in me

2009-06-16T01:32:00.003+08:00

My love, my life, my dreams, this is what you mean to me. For 9 months now, you have been the motivation behind every breath I take. My whole life ruled by thoughts of you - of us.

The day that I met you was the day my life and thoughts on relationships changed forever. To fall in love with a ladt who I can just be myself with, who brings out a part of me that I always knew existed but could never find, is just the most amazing feeling I could ever have. The feelings and emotions that you are able to evoke from me are for you alone - a part of me that I want you to have, something that no one else in my life has ever received before.

I know I can't give you the whole world, but I can promise you I will always love you. My heart is yours, and even though I know I’ll make mistakes, I will never break your heart. I’ll be right beside you as we chase our dreams together, and you will never have to wonder if I still care. I think about you all day long and when I'm not near you my mind is consumed with thoughts of being close to you again. When you’re near me I feel like everything in the world is right, and I know I don't have to ask for anything because as long I have you in my life I have everything I could ever want. All I want to do is spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you have made me.

I have so much to thank you for, so much more yet to give you, so many moments of my life yet to savor with you beside me. You are my love; to me, you ARE love. Jasmine, I love you, casue you bring out the best in me like no one else could do, thats why i'm by yourside thats why i love u. Best in me!

Sorry I Hurt You

2009-06-02T00:40:00.002+08:00

It is 2am in the morning and i am still moving here and there on my bed and thinking about what happen to us. I least expected it, I experienced the worst headache ever, all I could hear was my heart beating much faster than it ever has. I cursed my stars that night, as my expectation was so much greater, but it ended in a far different way that made my heart choke with tears of losing something I've always fought for

We all made mistakes not trying to understand each other, some words did hurt in some way and I guess we got carried away after all those arguments of whether truly I understand u. Perhaps we need to give each other a chance to find out for ourself whether what we are trying to make each other understand the real intention of why we did that.

I know we both said so many things to each other that we least expected, trying to find out the truth about something, it's really hard and needs much time, but I guess I got carried away by saying those words to you. I know you said you can't forgive me, neither will you forget, but I know deep down in me, I've regretted saying those things to you and being the first guy to have said this to you also hurts me a lot. Whether you accept my apology or not *I'm truly sorry for my harsh and unpleasant words.*

Perhaps this is the chance for us to experience the passion in each other. The most important thing is that this is not our first love experience and one thing we must understand is that, in every relationship, whether old or new, we're sure to experience some problems but it's up to us to solve them. These are some of the things that might break our warm friendship and everything we are planning ahead of us. We need to understand each other and try to have the trust that will make this relationship work. I know you want this to work as much as I do and I still have my hopes up, never giving up on you. Let me tell you this thing that I believe in a real relationship: "It doesn't take beauty to make a relationship but the heart and the mind." I know what I've seen in you and have a special reason of choosing you.

For now, I know sorry is just a word, but for what it's worth I am very sorry for hurting you last evening. You caused me pains too but and I'm really confused about everything. I much want things to be stable and that you get all the time you need to make your decision. I love you so much and never will I think that I can forget you.

Hope to hear from you... I remain yours ....

I'm sorry jasmine

2009-05-20T01:59:00.003+08:00

Look, that night was one of the worst nights we've ever had, and I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I will never stop loving you. I know I said some stuff that I dont mean to which in turn create such a mess, and I try my best to do right by you, and I will continue to do so.

Before that night, we had a great night together and now we are fighting, and we now have our relationship by a piece of string, and after our great night, I just can't let you slip away from me like that. I love you, and I hope you can forgive me for all my faults.

You are everything, and if you weren't then maybe I wouldn't have asked you to marry me, but I want you to be the one I spend the rest of my life with, so let's make this work, okay?

In the past I had always yearned for a relationship that is genuine and lasting, as for all these, I've found them in you! I'll make sure that the hand I'll be holding will forever be yours. Whether we're living in a fairy tale or a non-fairy tale world, I still believe there is such a thing as "Live happily ever after", and even if you don't believe it, let's make it happen in our relationship!

I really look forward to the day when the both of us will be walking down the red carpet hand in hand and in the name of love, we exchange marriage rings looking into each other eyes saying, "I do not regret for choosing you in my life."

Let's make this work out, Jasmine. I really want to be with you.

Only her

2009-05-12T00:51:00.002+08:00

No matter what happens,

I will always be by your side

Jia you my dear!

New Video

2009-05-05T02:33:00.001+08:00

I am back with another video i created but this time round i did the music for it!!! Enjoy!

Doesn't matter

2009-05-03T02:35:00.002+08:00

Dear u dont need to understand who do i give in to u so much, why yo i love u so much, why do i always forgive u, why do i willing to give up my own happiness for u, why my love for u is so strong and why i love u even u are not smart nor pretty.......

My answer to u is loving someone doens't require understanding, it just require your heart and soul. It doesn't matter what i or how much i giving in to u..... I just want to put a smile on your face.I can be myself when I am with you. Your idea of romance is just the two of us. Because you make me feel like I have never felt before. I can tell you anything, and you won't be shocked. Your undying faith is what keeps the flame of our love alive. You and me together, we can make magic. We're a perfect match. Thinking of you, fills me with a wonderful feeling. Your love gives me the feeling, that the best is still ahead. You never give up on me, and that's what keeps me going. You are simply irresistible. I love you because you bring the best out of me. Your terrific sense of humor. Everytime I look at you, my heart misses a beat. You're the one who holds the key to my heart. You always say what I need to hear. You have taught me the true meaning of love. Love is, what you mean to me - and you mean everything. You are my theme for a dream. I have had the time of my life and I owe it all to you. And, of course, your intelligence, 'cause you were smart enough to fall in love with me =ppp

I just want to put a smile on your face

2009-05-02T00:45:00.002+08:00

Things are hard right now, and they seem to just be a big blurry mess. But I don't blame you for any of it. I know this is both of our faults so I don't expect you to say or do anything. I know that we are trying to fix all the screwed up things in our lives right now, and I hope we do get to make everything all better again.

I am only truly happy when I am with you. Your presence just lights up my world. Everything I am and everything I have is dependant upon you

How i wish i could tell you what I'm feeling when sometimes, I don't even understand myself? I wish things were perfectly wonderful between us, But we're going to have to work at it to make them that way. I do believe we have so much to build on… our memories and our love most of all. I may not always understand why we have problems, or exactly how to make our relationship stronger, but I care enough to want us to try to find out.

When the world closes in and lies so heavily upon you,remember - I care.

When love seems to only bring you pain,remember - I care.

What cannot be, cannot be, but always,remember - I care.

Never be afraid to come to me if you have need of the simplest thing! No matter what it is, remember - I care!

Hope that today i did make u happy even though that game we play i won u!!!=Pppp

A new journey for me and jasmine!

2009-04-28T01:24:00.004+08:00

Our very first "poster"

Only for Jasmine neo !!!!

2009-04-18T02:07:00.002+08:00

Well, what can I say apart from, "Wow!" We've had many rides on the Love Roller Coaster.
We've had our downs, but with plenty more ups, and I am so sincerely and utterly
devoted to you. I'm sorry for the times I've hurt you, but I'm glad of the times that I've made you smile.

We are both birds of free spirit, but we fly together forever. It is you who I am so sure of spending the rest of my life with, to marry, to love and to cherish forever and eternally.

And as fear can stop you loving, love can stop your fear. I believe this to be true. When I look towards our future, you are always pictured there. I worry and I care for you. This is meant to be, Jasmine. I have no doubt whatsoever in my mind.

I have previously thought that I have been in love, but then you came along, took my hand and educated me further into learning as to what love REALLY is. I have so much to thank you for.

Thank you for believing in me when I could see no light. Thank you for picking me up when I fell and for kissing the tears off of my face. Thank you for giving me the freedom to tell you how I feel without feeling scared of your reaction. Thank you for your respect of my thoughts and feelings.

The fact that STILL I cannot find the words to describe exactly how my heart feels when I am with you, infuriates me. However, even if I had all descriptive vocabulary embedded onto my brain, I am sure that there still would not be a word that would fit exactly right.

Loving you until the skies fall down

Life suck

2009-04-17T01:21:00.002+08:00

I FUCKING HATE MY FAMILY !!!
THEY SUCK TO THE CORE!!!
I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I WHEN I KEEP QUIET IS BECASUE I SCARED OF ANYTHING!
iS BECASUE I RESPECT U ALL BUT U ALL FORCE ME TO A CORNER NOW! fORCE ME SOMEMORE AND I WILL REBEL. FUCK UP FAMILY

Most enjoyable day!

2009-04-06T21:19:00.007+08:00

Last sat, i achieve what i plan to achieve in one training rather than one month ! Call me lucky or so. I did my first successful cupie and hold there for 11 SEC. I still can remember talking to Zhi liang on msn and making a deal with him i will hit a successful cupie all by myself and hold it there for 10 sec in 3 months time. But in the end he only allow 1 month for me to do so. I don't think i was able to do it at first becasue of the short period of time! Since i say it so i must do. All talk no action is what a coward do not me. After a few round of cupie-ing with joline i decide to bring it to the bottom line! There it is i got it!!! Next aim cupie my girl in one moth time!!

Sorry no photo this time round. But why see photo! See the real life version!!!! =Ppp

After training went to arcade. A place at just beside bugis street the newly open shopping mall. Jasmine, si min, vincent and me reach there first,while the rest are trap at somewhere far far away!!! HAHAHA. Explore the place and find it quite interesting. The overall design of the building is cool. Met Xp adn yirong there. They brought us to arcade which is our main purpose of the visit. Lots of toy catching machine at there but all are UFO toy catcher which i am the most lousiest at. But decide to give it a try! End of the day manage to catch 2 pillow and 2 pair of shoes for my dear. U know when a group of cheerleader go out what is the thing they are going to do? TAKE STUNT PICTURE !!!! Lots and lots of it!!!Below are all the picture for the whole day! Enjoy

While the others are still trap at somewhere!!

Dear and me

Lib with her

Xp andYi Rong

Issac and Joline

Me and dear

Vincent and Hui Ting

Double Heel Stretch!

Everyone is a winner!!

Ideal home

2009-03-31T23:36:00.003+08:00

Home

My ideal home is where one dont feel any pressure any unhappiness in it

A place which u can truly relax

Truly be yourself

Only laughter can be heard

Most importanly the love from your loves one!

But now everyday when i reach home,

parents start to question me lots of question

making unreasonable comment of my life

want me to follow their ideal way of life!

Things just changed

I can no longer feel what is a home like

To me now home is just a place to sleep

Nothing more

I feel no sense of belonging to it anymore

Everyday quarrel with my parents over ridiculous stuff

Worse of all

no more allowance from them

i am totally fine with it

BUT

they still control the money i earn!\

WTH

I AM GOING TO BE 19 SOON AND U ALL STILL TREAT ME LIKE A KID

I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!

nO MORE THE GOOD KAHAU

U ALL FORCE ME TO TAKE UP THIS ROAD!

Cupie

2009-03-30T00:27:00.003+08:00

After so long in cheer, I FINALLY ACHIEVED what i came in cheer for. A cupie! That's right a cupie! I still remember the day i join cheer i told them i want to do a stunt which i can hold a lady on top of my hand. Everyone say that i am crazy and it is not possible at least in singapore! Even thought the cupie i did now can only last for like 6 SEC but i am very very happy already!!! That kind of happiness is indescribable. It took me 1year 9months to get this cupie! I will train my cupie to last as long as 1 min in 3 months time!

Thanks xing wei and xue wei aka X-wonder for teaching me and let me fuili my dream! Thanks a lot! Lastly i want to thank wildcards for giving me this chance. Without wildcards i can never achieve what i want and die for. Thanks chaang

Me and Her

2009-03-29T13:24:00.001+08:00

Me and my girl stunting around. Btw this video is taken in 2 days!!!

New partner stunt team??

2009-03-26T00:43:00.002+08:00

After a couple of straight toss and some correction here and there, i proudly present jasmine and me Toss To Hand

Base --> Kahau ( A wildcard cheerleader)

Flyer --> Jasmine

Jasmine had never learn the proper toss to hand method because and also lack of training. In this video, she had never did toss to hand for 4 months already. In order to boost her confidence for this sat audtion, this is a small gift for her.

Girl trust yourself! U can do it de!

Unfinish business

2009-03-23T22:27:00.004+08:00

As a cheerleader this few days are the most important date SKM and CHEEROBICS.
This year is my first time taking part in cheer competition. I want to make it the best and the most unforgettable one. We train hard for around 6 months for this. From nothing at the start to something in the end. I still can remember the first day i went to wildcards! Chaang ask me to toss nellie to hand! I am like there is NO WAY i can do it. By the way nellie is 1.70m tall. But after 6 months of hard work and training, nellie and i not only did a toss to hand! We did lots of it and manage to do a liberty too!!! A combine height of 3.5m tall!! Lots of interesting stuff happened in this period. This will always be a part of me part of my memory part of my life till death!

There it come SKM. The day which we showcase our routine to others. A mini competition just before cheerobics. All stunt up! Well done people! I can feel the happiness in each and everyone of us! Finally all our effort pays off! Next up CHEEROBICS!!! A national cheerleading competition in singapore. All of us are very very excited about it and can't wait to showcase to others our routine! All of us are very proud of our routine because all our sweat and tears are in it. Nothing can fully describe how much we are proud of our routine! We build every thing from scratch. From nobody to somebody, from nothing to something, from stranger to friends.

The time have come for us to show the outside world what we are make of.
I hug yi xun tightly before we start to make our way in
The music started,
1, 2, 3, 4,
P-A-Y-M Lets go wildcards......

our routine had started.
The only thing in my mind is lets go people lets create history!
At the last part of the routine my back start to hurt like mad.
I almost want to give up when we start to do the back tuck transition because the pain was too much to bear. But i saw everyone still going on strong so i went to bite my teeth tightly together like what chaang told us before "use pain to counter pain". At last i heard the "lion" roar, the routine is over and i can heard people cheering. At that point of time i can feel blood in my mouth. The next moment i felt weak...starting to lose control of my muscle and i don't know what happen next. The next thing i know was i was out at the backstage. I still can remember the first thing i ask my teammate is " all stunt up??"

The answer which i never want to hear came out from their mouth! At that point of time, my heart just smash! My tears just roll down like waterfall. 6 months of hard work all gone! I cry. That kind of sadness is unbearable. People came to console me but i just can't believe it. Thanks u people who came to console me especially xue wei who console me with SWEET!!!!

Till now i still cannot accept the fact. The impact is way too big for me. But i know i need to carry on becasue what happen had happen! Nothing will changed even if i die. Yesterday is history, which i cannot go back to. I can only look to the future and train even harder that the last time i did. I want to make my way back into that mat again because i haveUNFINISH BUSINESS. I dont admit defeat and i will strive on!

Now i fully understand the meaning of unfinish business what gary had been saying. Wildcards, we didn't lose the competition, we just lose to ourselves. I believe next year we will be better and will shock the crowds once again with our amazing rountie!

Thank you wildcards for giving me this chance to take part in cheerobics. Giving a chance again to choose i will still choose to be a wildcards player. Wildcards is where i grew up from and it will always be.

Lastly thank you my dear for being with me. When i was crying she was by my side console me. Sorry jasmine for shouting at u and vent all my anger at u. Sorry i just can't control it. U just stood down there and let me vernt my anger on u. U didn't even try to fight back or what. Thanks u for being so understand. U are the best girlfriend i ever have and u will be the one i will only be with till death!

爱

2009-02-28T21:51:00.011+08:00

为你付出那种伤心你了解嗎 ???

看着往事一幕一幕

也许那些故事可以给我一个交代....

眼睁睁看你被伤害

谁可以给我一个交代????

当眼泪流下来伤已超载

我不想用言语拉扯所以选择不责怪

我的悲哀谁明白???

我无法轻易推开你我的爱

也

无法随便放开

我不会再让你难受

我愿意陪你一起承受

只要你不怕痛再多坎坷我都陪你走

New achievement!

2009-02-17T00:55:00.002+08:00

After so long, finally can up level le ah!

Me and regine!

I will fight for it !

2009-02-05T03:07:00.004+08:00

Thank you nellie for the encouragement. Thanks a lot

I will fight for it because u are worth fighting for it. I love u jasmine

Understanding??

2009-02-01T01:11:00.002+08:00

May be i should learn to be more understanding

or should i say less caring.

Caring too much??

2009-01-14T01:05:00.004+08:00

I care for u because i love u. I don't want you to get hurt. You always tell me not to worry, nothing is going to happen. But u don't know that i will still be worry for u no matter what u say. I don't want u to regret when things had happened. Its all too late by than. It can even ruined your future your LIFE!!! U may find that the care i had for u is becoming kinda of irritating. Even so i will still care for u because u are my only one. Maybe to u i care too much but for me i only know that the loves one around me must not come to nay harm, i will protect them no matter what. I don't denied that i show my temper when u don't listen to what i say. I am angry because i care for u. I will call and call your phone until u pick up....I will still be awake until u reached home and send me a message u do so...All this thing is nothing to me because i did it for u. Just U

Do u really know i care?
I really do and i always will.

To my incredibly special Angel

2009-01-10T21:48:00.005+08:00

Every kiss is a first my love

Each kiss a silent sentence

Only our hearts can understand.

That first kiss said i love you,

The next said i'll be there

The third said i'm yours always.

My heart replied i love you

And then i'll never leave

The third kiss said it all.

Yet even 4 months down the line

The words will never stop,

Each kiss is filled with love my dear

In my heart our love is clear.

Can u or can u not?

2008-12-18T13:23:00.002+08:00

Believe in yourself
and
anything is possible

Problems

2008-12-13T23:49:00.002+08:00

A simple life is what i also wanted or should i say what everyone dream of. Having problems in life is a common thing but i really wonder how long can i withstand all this. Family problems is what i hate most! I hate it to the core because what i expect when i get home is totally different. Especially that F*** up brother of mine. Pardon my language cause i really can't take it anymore. I maybe smiling but inside of me i am really lost.

Finally i can "speak" to my blog about this. So much better after typing it out.
What i want and what i can get is different! Like what Xing Wei quote on his blog "Dreams and reality often cannot co-exist" its true and what can u do?? U can only do your best to make it happen!

I really hope i have the strength to carry on. I really hope so....

My road to liberty!!!!

2008-12-07T00:04:00.002+08:00

My road to liberty!!!!

Sunday performance and stuntfest

2008-12-01T21:42:00.006+08:00

The performance was a success and i am still amazed by how we did it?? Remember the days when i just join wildcards. Everyone was new and was kind of blur. Compare it to now, we wildcards improve by a lot. Not only physically but also mentally. All those training, sweat and tears not forgetting scolding. It is all worth it.

After performance, there is a stunt feast. This is what everyone is waiting for. Quite a number of people came down. Have a lot of fun and finally can have the float feeling for liberty. Did attempt some cupie but i fail to do it. But not to worry i will master it asap.

My last goal for this year. Will i make it in time to do a cupie at 1/1/2009 outside takasimaya??? Just wait and see!!!

Me and dear preparing for a lib

Yes we did it!!

Lib with my partner!!!

My 18th Birthday

2008-11-25T00:57:00.002+08:00

Thank you everyone who give me your wishes

Now i am offically 18 years old!!! So long for this day to come. I will always remember my 18th birthday because i spend it with a girl name jasmine whom i truly love. Thank you my dear for all the suprise u try to give me. Thanks you. With u celebrating my birthday with me there is nothing else i can complain about cause u are the most perfect person i want to celebrate with. There is a little bit of saddness because my own family dont remember my birthday. Didn't really feel very sad because last year my family forget my birthday too. I guess i get use to it already. Lastly below is a short note for my girl.

Jasmine, I love you so much. I will always be forever grateful for you. You taught me so much in life. You've helped me through rough times and I could always cry on your shoulder without being judged. You loved me when no one else would. You always came when I asked you to. You were my strength when I was weak and my breath when I couldn't speak. You showed me the right way to love. Even when you didn't want to, you made a friend out of my friends and I knew that you didn't like them, but you did it for me. You asked me if I was okay when something was actually wrong with you. You put my needs before your own.

When you kissed me, I felt like I could fly, but the only flying I did was more in love with you. You inspired me and I truly felt as if I didn't deserve you, but still, even more, you loved me for me. You protect me and guide me, and for that I will be truly grateful (forever) and I just want to say 'Thank You' and I'll always love you till the last breathe of mine

One drop of tear means everything

2008-11-23T23:37:00.004+08:00

So sorry for the person I became.

So sorry that it took so long for me to change.

I'm ready to try and never become that way again

Cause who I am hates who I've been.

tears are the words my heart uses to explain when even my fake smiles cant cover up my pain

I SUCK

2008-11-23T01:01:00.002+08:00

Yesterday i keep thinking about what i had been such a letdown such a asshole. I feel bad for what i did and i really mean it. I keep thinking of it all day long even when i was typing this post. I dont know what had got into me which cause me to make such a big big mistake. Cheerleading traning was bad for me. Almost every stunt i did fail...I just cna't stop thinking and neither do i think i can for give myself... Sorry everyone for screwing every thing up..Sorry.

15 nov training

2008-11-16T16:32:00.006+08:00

Today training to me is super tired because i am down with flu and cough!!! The best part is i got a 2 day mc! Call me pro becasue i can stunt but cannot go to work, or should i say just lazy!!! Finally can do a proper lib with my partner!!! Nellie we did it!!! I am so happy. Now i want to perfect it!!! I all let the pic do the talking!!!

Prepare to lib nellie

There u go!!! success!! =]

Toss to hand!! Guess what stunt i am going to do??

Lib again

3 lib 3 background

base -monkey cow, kongfu pandan aka shrek, me

flyer- caris , nellie, joline

channg lib nellie and me lib joline!!!!

Wildcards

2008-11-12T01:39:00.006+08:00

Lib justine
The 3rd flyer in wildcards that i manage to lib!!!

I just got to say a big Thank you to everyone in wildcards. This is where my cheerleader journey really started. Without them, you will not be able to see the me today. Thank you WILDCARDS.

WILDCARDS ALL THE WAY

Wildcards blog is http://wildcardscheerleading.blogspot.com/

What if i just leave the world one day....

2008-11-11T15:09:00.001+08:00

Who will remember how you lived ?

How will history speak of you ?

What will be the remains of your life?

Happy 2 month =]]

2008-11-10T20:28:00.001+08:00

Can you imagine a life without me? Now that we've met I cannot see my future without you in it. Every dream I have I see your face; every thought I have your name is in the whispers of the wind. You follow me everywhere, you are the reason I have a good day. You are the reason I smile when there is nothing to smile about. I know I truly love you when I look into your eyes and my heart skips a beat.

When I am sitting there with your head on my shoulder playing with your hair and you fall asleep, I know I can never let you go. You look so peaceful and my love for you grows. When you look up at me with those beautiful eyes I see nothing but the love you have for me! How could I ever possibly let you leave my life? Sometimes I don't understand why I love you so much, but that's the greatest gift of love, you don't have to understand it, you just need to enjoy it and return the love that is given to you.

I want to thank you so much for allowing me to feel the greatest feeling I have ever felt, and I promise to cherish it and always love you and do my best to keep you happy. I just want you to know how much you mean to me. Thank you for everything you have done for me! And I am looking forward to the life we will share together.

能不能给我一首歌的时间，紧紧地把拥抱你?

2008-11-06T22:56:00.001+08:00

就算全世界都不信任我，

怀疑我，

误会我，

只要有你们懂我，

相信我，

支持我，

就够了

Mixed feeling

2008-11-05T00:32:00.004+08:00

5 toss to hand - extension

Today my day was fill with ups and down.... Cheer routine to me is ok, i still manage to catch up. But at the end of the training something came down real hard on me.... I INJURY my partner neille. Sorry neille i don't mean it... To me, never ever injury a flyer cause i know how does it feel. Lets hope nothing serious happen. I dont want to destroy her dream. I really don't.

If only i can react a little bit more faster
If only i can safe her
If only not for my own selflessness to try stunt
She will not be injury....

If and only if

Its all too late, no matter how many sorry i say its useless cause DAMAGE had been done...
If only i can turn back time....
I don't mind getting injury rather than a flyer was injury....

KAHAU NEVER EVER LET A FLYER INJURY AGAIN!!!

Singapore Flyer

2008-11-02T16:19:00.005+08:00

Wildcards Cheerleading Team!!!!

On the 29th of OCT, Wildcards have a outing. We went to the singapore Flyer!!!! Have lots of fun there!!! I SWEAR the view up there is super nice even thought i didn't get to enjoy it that much cause I am scared of HEIGHT. Ok la i admit i weak k....

As u all know we are cheerleader right, we did some stunt at there la, its such a good chance not to miss!!!!

Chairssssssssss

2-2-1

Lastly me and partner !!!!

BUSY!!!

2008-10-31T12:19:00.001+08:00

Sorry i will not be updating so soon because of the super heavy pack schedule i have now!!

Sorry I Hurt You

2008-10-16T02:24:00.008+08:00

I really had a sleepless night, moving here and there on my bed and thinking about what happen to us that night. I least expected it, I experienced the worst headache ever, all I could hear was my heart beating much faster than it ever has. I cursed my stars that night, as my expectation for the night was a beautiful ending , but it ended in a far different way that made my heart choke with tears of losing something...

I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you, even though it may seem that way sometimes. I know that I hurt you last night. I never meant for you to feel that way. I thought of you many times during the night, wishing you were by my side.

I talked about you to everyone and told them how lucky I was with you. You mean the world to me. I am always so lonely when there are long periods of time between the times we speak. I always find myself trying to keep busy because if I sit still for too long, my heart begins to ache and I feel your absence. At night, I make believe that you are beside me, caressing me, holding me, loving me. I want to feel you inside me.

For now, I know sorry is just a word, but for what it's worth I am very sorry for hurting you last night. It pains me too and I'm really confused about everything. I love you so much and never think of i will forget u ever

No longer a man of honour

My cheerleading journey at wildcards

2008-10-13T22:28:00.004+08:00

How many lib are there in this photo?? (4)
Any idea which base is me??(3rd from right)

Me and best partner

My first lib (me and joline)

Next aim-lib best partner and perfect my lib!!!

U are my only reason

2008-10-12T01:04:00.000+08:00

You're not one of the reasons why life is worth living, not one of the reasons why I'm happy all day long, neither why I'll never feel alone - you'll never be one of the reasons, because you'll always be the only reason ....

10 Sep And Forever

2008-10-10T00:33:00.005+08:00

Dear Jasmine,

It has been one month, one whole month and forever. Forever I know you'll be here in my heart, in my arms, and when years go by I want you to know how much I love you each and every day.

You are a miracle, each and every day with you I treasure in my heart. Every beat of my heart fills more and more with your love. You are the most beautiful person in the world, inside and out. You filled that hole in my heart that has been missing for years. I love you; thank you. I hope I make you as happy as you make me.

To me, Love, you are perfect. Perfect to me, everything about you. The beauty inside of you is miraculous. It is beyond what nature could ever possess. You are more beautiful than anything I have every seen in my life. Just take a look in the mirror and you'll know what I am talking about.

I'm not going to say I love you, you should have no doubt in your mind that I do.

The little things you do reassure me that you love me too. The 3 words that we say to each other on occasions that are right give me the exact same feeling of when we hold each other tight. The scent of you when you come in close for a kiss and the fact that I can't even walk past you without a touch of your skin first, that's what love is.

Whenever we fight, and let's face it we do, the only thought that's in my mind is how much I care to even argue with you. When you get so low sometimes that even I find it hard to lift you up, just please remember that I'll always be there to give you a hug, to tell you it's alright and to wipe the tears away from your eyes.

This love letter is not just for the times we've talked and I found myself anticipating the next word that fell out of your mouth, or for the times you said that you loved me more than life itself, this love letter is to thank you for being you and letting me be part of your life, for not building a wall that I couldn't see through, for telling me I'm beautiful when I feel so ugly, for sticking with me through good and bad. With all these things you do for me, is there really any reason to say 'I love you' when I know already and shouldn't I even bother saying it to you when I've already built my world around you.

I just want to thank you and thank whoever sent you for me to put my faith in you.Thanks for being there, thanks for loving me, thanks for being you. I love you with everything I am. No poems, no words, no letters, no gifts, nothing can ever express how much I love you, but you know how much that is. This letter is just a patch on what I feel for you; the rest is a private conversation between our hearts.

Love always,
Kahau

Rules??

2008-10-08T12:49:00.003+08:00

In every aspect of life i count it as a game. A game which have certain rules to follow. Sometimes it is the best to follow the rules of the game and u will be safe. Nothing is going to happen cause u never break any of them.....But the game will be boring ...Once in a while breaking some rules may be fun and u can experience something new.

Be it in my studies, relationship, cheer, work or family should i just follow the rule of the game??? Should i or should i not??? I had given so much out and recieve nothing in return... I feel so empty...I dont know how long i can last giving ...

Loving you

2008-10-07T01:37:00.003+08:00

Today is the day which i dare to say i feel i was so love by u.....By your action...By your words!!!
Since i choose you i will accept what u are and who u are....Now i truly understand love can be express in different ways. Love is not about all those kissing we had , those hug we had ......It is about the time we spend together seeing the other partner smiling that is the sweetest love....Since i promise u and give u my word i will follow it!!!!! Cause i am MAN OF HONOUR

Time will prove my love to you and cement my place in your heart forever. For time will give me the credibility and the believability that I need to convince you to want to spend the rest of your life with me. That I am worthy of such a commitment from you

Weak by a lot

2008-10-05T01:09:00.003+08:00

After i so call "recover" from my right wrist injuries, i feel that i am weaken by alot in terms of strength and i can no longer toss flyer to hands that smoothly anymore....Not to mention i totally lost the feeling of tossing nellie which is my best partner to hands!!! Sorry nellie..... What is wrong with me?? I dont know i really dont know......UNTIL NOW I DONT KNOW WHY MY WRIST GET INJURY....Why is this happening to me when my road to cheerleading just starting to pick up.....Worse of all, my parent dont even support me joining cheerleading at all...Will the support me just for once at my performance???

Can i still manage to do my dream stunt or at least a lib outside takasimaya at 1.1.2009 ???
Can i still take stunt video with Terence on 13.12.2008 ???
Can i still take stunt video with Gary on 4.12.2008 ???
Can i ???

Feeling

2008-10-02T00:19:00.001+08:00

Empty

My love

2008-09-29T23:22:00.003+08:00

I keep asking myself this question just now.....

From time to time I keep asking myself why I chose you ... what is so special about you? Well, the reason is simple; I chose you because you are YOU!!! I have never had anyone treat me the way you do. I have never had anyone just look at me and make me feel beautiful. You do that to me! You make me feel special and wanted. As liberal as I can be, I would never do anything to hurt you. You mean more to me than you realize. I am hoping that one day I can prove all of this to you! I want you for you!

With you by my side nothing can stop me .....

For yesterday's memories, today's love, and tomorrow's dreams I love you

Tears dropping down

2008-09-29T21:52:00.003+08:00

Just now had a chat with my mum...Was a nice chat and this was the first time i break down in front of her. I can't take the stress and pressure i am facing anymore...No more no more, i can't take no more....I just sat down and my tears start to flow out of my eyes. This is the first time i cry because of pressure and stress...I guess i am just not strong enough. I don't understand why i did so much at work really all my effort in it but at the end when u face problems or any trouble my supervisor just dont care how much u done for her before...She just want u to work even at the cost of ...she spare no thoughts for me at all... I just dont understand why in this world when u treat them good they don't return or at least do u a favour... It really make me think does it worth to treat people nicely cause in the end all i get is SHIT...I am really tired of this life...Real tired..I wish i could just stop it...

Dear 831 stand for

8 letters
3 words
1 meaning

Combine it and u will get "I love you"...

I just got to say u have became my supporting pillar to carry on....If u are gone one day i think i may just disappear too....

Guilty

2008-09-29T01:49:00.002+08:00

A kiss is just a kiss till you find the one you love.

A hug is just a hug till you find the one you're always thinkin' of.

A dream is just a dream till it comes true.

Love was just a word till I met you.

I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch; I never thought that I could ever love a girl so much. I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny. For you, I'd cross the world; for you, I'd do anything. U may think i am saying all this just to sweet talk to u or ......... But i just got to say 831.

Sorry if i hurt u or make u feel unprotected at times...I dont wish to force u to do anything against your will. I want u to be just u. I love u for who u are...I really feel guilty for what i have done... Sorry....I guess i shall care more for u and think in your shoes...

(go find out yourself what does 831 means...haha)

Choices in life

2008-09-27T01:15:00.002+08:00

In life, nothing is call fair non unfair. It is just a matter of choices and a matter thinking positive or negative...... U only live once so why not make your journey the best of it.....

You can shed tears that he is gone
or you can smile because he lived

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
or you can be full of the love that you have shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and lived yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember him and only that he is gone
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Can u??

Wrist injury

2008-09-23T21:09:00.005+08:00

My wrist was injury a few days ago. Went to see a doctor near my house de, he help me acupuncture( poke needle ) on my right forearm, i dont feel any better this few days so went with jas to a another doctor near simin house de.... This doctor is good!!! Just help me twist and turn my hand a while was all ok le....BTW someone was crying so "softly" and was caught on video!!!!

My hand pls recover faster so i can stunt again!!

Poor hand

Going to bath!!!

Cool right!!!!

What i really feel

2008-09-23T00:24:00.002+08:00

I dont care how people look at me or how people talk about me! All i care is about u... I know i fail at one point of time... I fail to protect you..i fail utterly....Sometimes when i stay slient it doesn't mean i am ok...I am just too piss off to listen anymore cause i told myself before NEVER GO BACK TO YOUR OLD SELF..NEVER.. i promise u and i will keep that promise...

If u ask me am i angry with u...My answer is No

Why am i piss off....My answer is becuase i fail to protect u even i am like right beside u

Everyone have a limit and dont try to cross over it... I give no face to anyone even to my parent...

I may seem laughing but if u step on the line i dont know what i will do...

Ok enough of thrashing out back to face reailty...

What i wish now is my dear de leg recover fast enough....Thats all

Injury wrist AGAIN

2008-09-21T09:18:00.003+08:00

Yesterday went training and did my Lib again!!! Was quite happy but i also injur my right wirst!!
In fact i also dont know how i was injury. It happen like that, when i was heading to my workplace from my training....I was tired so i fall asleep in the MRT!! my wirst was still ok But after i woke up my wrist pain like mad!!! I still went to work cause i think rest a while ok le la..... At night was swollen le!!! Today didn't even go work, pain until cannot carry my own toothbrush!!! later going to see doc!!!

Pain pain ah!! Sob Sob...

I promise after i recover i am going to give myself 2 week to get my lib to a good 80% with my flyer nellie!!! Stay tune for my first LIB photo!!!

Help each other win and take pride in each other's victories

2008-09-19T03:00:00.007+08:00

Today went to Amk hub with my dear and shop for a while before i send her to cheerleading training!!! Something happen but i just got to say i will treasure it de... Dont worry u didn't give the wrong person!!!!

Today training was the day i achieve most in my cheerleading life!!!! I manage to do a lib le!!! But not stable yet!!! I was like so happy cause i am one step nearer to my dream stunt!!! All the way kahai u can do it de!!

I just got to say Thanks Chaang for giving me this chance to be back in cheer and making my dream come true. Thank u very much....

Last but not least, Wildcards is where i restart my journey and i want this journey to be the best nothing can stop me from going on!!!!

WILDCARDS ALL THE WAY!!!!

Funny stuff on woman

2008-09-18T02:39:00.001+08:00

I saw this pic and i laugh until my jaws drop!!!

My Cheerleading life

2008-09-17T15:34:00.008+08:00

Many people asked me the same question over the months on why i join cheerleading???
In fact the reason for me to go into cheerleading is so call fate...

Long long long long time ago, when i just step into poly( a nerd than), i wanted a CCA and was in fact never ever consider cheerleading as a choice for me!!! But one fine day i was surfing for video on Youtube i saw this video which inspire me. On that very moment i told myself, CHEERLEADER is what i want to be!!!! Below is the video which give me the courage to join cheerleading

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yX3w8MW_0Y

As a fact of life, nothing is smooth sailing at least for me. I met with a lot of problems until i was force to quit....I GAVE UP on cheerleading totally. My mind told me to give it up and i did try BUT it feels very very werid not training anymore, muscale became fats and more fats, no more training to look forward to... Even thought i was not in cheer but i kept a look out too. One fine day i ran into a video AGAIN on youtube, this video makes a impact on me like no others did. It is the UCF cheerleading!!!! They will work hard for it and finally they got it...The success in them makes my cheerleading flame burns again. Below is the video of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=furssW1kxrY
This video makes my cheerleading flame burns again!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ3fXjfqHB4
one of their rountie!!! watch their partner stunt!!!!

I am happy now that i am once again in cheer!!!! I am now in WILDCARDS cheerleading!!!

I manage to get my toss to hands to a good 90%.
I will work hard to be a champion!!!!!

My partner and I doing a toss to hand and extension!!!
Lib on the way!!!!

男朋友 or 普通朋友

2008-09-17T01:17:00.003+08:00

普通朋友：半夜會找妳MSN聊天到很晚。
男朋友：半夜看妳還在MSN上會趕你下線(當然妳可以柪個幾分鐘)。
---------------------------------------------
普通朋友：他會找你出去玩,叫妳放棄報告或翹課。
男朋友：他會催妳快寫作業,或者想要跟你討論功課。
---------------------------------------------
普通朋友：在你生病時，會講好話關心妳。
男朋友：在你生病時，他會關心到你很煩，而且逼你去看醫生。
------------------------------------------
普通朋友：他會盡量說好話來討好妳，妳會覺得他很棒。
男朋友：他所說的話，都是關心妳的！但通常像是在命令妳，妳會覺得他幹麻這麼做。
--------------------------------------------
普通朋友：他什麼事情都會配合著你，只要你高興。
男朋友：他會幫你辨別是非，但你會覺得他管太多。
-----------------------------------
普通朋友：他會說他要給你最大的幸福。
男朋友：他只能給你保證，妳跟他在一起，他是最快樂的。
-----------------------------------------
普通朋友：他會幫你買消夜，送宵夜，載你上下課。
男朋友：他會幫你買宵夜，不過他會提醒你，吃什麼比較健康。他會載你上下課，不過要他有順路，因為他不能為你而翹課。因為他翹課，他成績便會不好，成績不好不會有好工作。那你們將來日子怎麼會好過，他會想的很遠。
----------------------------------------
普通朋友：他只有想到現在。
男朋友：他已經預見將來，該怎麼自我努力，好給你幸福。

★我要把幸福裝滿.連同我......一起送給你～。。☆

I hate C

2008-09-16T01:53:00.002+08:00

The nyp website is like sooooo "good" ah cannot log in one!!!! Takes me like 1 full hr to log in to check my result. Was very very piss of with my result casue i got a C!!!! I hate C !!!

Below are my result

IT2561 BUSINESS PROCESS MODELLING & SIMULATION C
IT2562 BUSINESS INTELLIGENCE & AGILITY B+
IT2563 JAVA APPLICATIONS DEVELOPMENT A
IT2564 DATABASE SYSTEMS B
IT2565 COMMUNICATION SKILLS 2 B+
IT2569 JAVA APPLICATIONS PROJECT DIST
IT2581 ENTREPRENEURSHIP DIST

I hate C

I hate C!!!!!

Tired day but i enjoy it

2008-09-15T00:41:00.003+08:00

Love used to be so unfair to me. No matter what I do.. I always get hurt. No matter how much I love.. I end up alone.

But not until I found you.

YOU.. that put a smile in my heart.

YOU.. that made my life meaningful.

YOU.. that made me fall in love again.

And now I know, this is REAL.. this is FOREVER!

No words...no actions...can ever adequately express just how much I love you!

You've asked me how much I love you. It's not really a question of how much...but how long and how passionately. Well, there are no boundaries, no limits, no end for my love for you!

You came into my life, and made everything spectacular! I would never go back to not having you in my life!

Every sec spend with u is worth it, just like today i was so so so tired but once i see you, i forgot how tired i was..... This is how special u are!

Jas, Our toss to hand can make it le!!!! We will take a shot at it next time!

Baby

2008-09-14T01:14:00.003+08:00

If you love someone, you do not speak from your mouth, from your heart.
Don't let your mouth talk, let your heart be the one to talk for you

I love u

2008-09-11T00:57:00.002+08:00

10 SEP 2008 is my happiest day.... I shall not say too much about it i'll let time prove it..

If you're asking if I need you, the answer is forever.
If you're asking if I will leave you, the answer is never.
If you're asking what I value, the answer is you.
If you asking if I love you, the answer is I DO.

Irreplaceable

2008-09-09T00:56:00.003+08:00

I have never in my life met someone more beautiful, enjoyable, loving, and comforting as you. Since the very first day that you smiled at me I knew there was something very special about you. I had no idea then that I would fall in love, but now that I have, I am so grateful. I am grateful for us to have wandered into one another's world so softly and unexpectedly. Nature took its course on our hearts and joined them in a way never imaginable.

I want you to know, that from the very depths of my heart, I love you. And I love everything that creates you, from your hair - that I wish I could play in more often... to your forehead - that I wish I could kiss while you sleep; from your eyes - that sparkle when you smile (just for me)... to your nose - that I wish I could rub my nose against, and down past every inch of every part of your existence.

I wish more than anything that you and I could grow together, love together, learn together, and laugh together, forever. I sincerely feel that between the two of us, we have the kind of love that some people never get a chance to experience. I promise to love you as much as I can, as best as I can, and for as long as I can. And no matter what, it's very important to me for you to know that you are an irreplaceable spirit that will always be a part of me.

Don't Be Afraid

2008-09-08T01:07:00.002+08:00

Silly, listen, I love you; I love you so much that I can do and give up everything just for you. I can accept everything because I really love you, God knows, words are not enough to describe how much I love you so, but then it doesn't mean that because I love you that much I'm goin' to be possessive or whatever. The love I have for you is the kind of love that doesn't expect or ask for anything in return. I'm not trying to force, or expect you to love me the way I love you; I am not expecting that you will love me with same intensity. You, being there at my side, knowing that you care for me, and hearing you whispering "I love you..."(if i ever do) are more than enough, and they mean the world to me.

You know what? I'm reading between the lines ... "I'm afraid ..." Now, I got the message within. You are afraid 'cause you might be thinking that how you can get out of this relationship without gettig hurt just in case I don't want it anymore, you are afraid that I might hurt You. You are afraid thinking that I can't accept just in case you don't love me anymore. But just like what I wrote above, I love you so much that I CAN ACCEPT EVERYTHING. And I will tell you again, Silly, I love you so much but I am not expecting anything in return ....

I really really love u a lot

Will u be mine someday??

2008-09-07T01:06:00.004+08:00

Silly, I just wanted to do something simple to say I love you and to put that smile I love so much back on your face. I want everyone to know how much you mean to me. Ever since you have entered my life, I've been flying on Cloud 9 and I have not come down yet.

I always mock at you everyday for example "bathing" ,"Size of....." etc (ps u know what i mean!!), BUT you are the most beautiful person I know, inside and out and I see that more clearly with each passing day. I love everything about you, about us. You do something to me that no other has, you have made me so happy, the happiest I've ever been. You give me the most amazing feelings inside, the feeling of being in love with you.

I still don't know what I did to be so lucky to have you in my life, my dream come true... I am so thankful though. Even thought it is only a short period of time I got to know you, I have grown so much and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.

I hate games !!!!

2008-09-05T23:36:00.002+08:00

It's the end of the day and I was thinking about you, as usual. I want you to know how much I sincerely love the times we've spent talking. It means so much to me. It truly seems like I've known you forever and I honestly can't imagine life without you now. There will be no looking back, no second thoughts and no regrets. I want you and need only you ... and that love will only grow stronger. Do not be scared silly. Sometimes life hits you with unexpected things that take you totally by surprise. All I can say is you're the best surprise life has given me and your capacity for love, caring, and understanding never ceases to amaze me. I've truly been blessed by finding you and I'll never let you go even if I have to !!!!

I Dont want to play the game anymore becasue it hurts!

You are Special

2008-09-05T02:39:00.003+08:00

Life is so unpredictable. Changes always come along, in big or small ways. I don't know what happened that this sudden change has turned my world upside down. I don't know exactly what it is, it just hit me, but there is something really special about you.

It might be all the things I see on the surface, the things that everyone notices and admires about you, qualities, capabilities and a wonderful smile obviously connected to a warm and loving heart; these things set you apart from everyone else. But it may also be the big things ... the person you really are that I hope to know more someday. And it might also be the little things ... the way you walk and all your actions. I receive so much joy just being able to see a smile in your eyes. If I ever figure out the magic that makes you so special, I'd probably find out that it's a combination of all these things. You are a rare combination of so many special things. You are really amazing.

Inside of me there is a place where my sweetest dreams reside, where my highest hopes are kept alive, where my deepest feelings are felt and where my favorite memories are safe and warm. I find that you're on my mind more often than any other thought. Sometimes I bring you there purposely just to make my day brighter. But more often, you surprise me and find your own ways into my thoughts. There are even times when I awaken, I realize that you've been a part of my dreams. Then during the day, when my imagination is free to run, it takes me into you and allows me to linger there knowing there's nothing I'd rather do. I know my thoughts are only reflecting the loving hopes of my heart because whenever they wander, they always take me to you.

Only the most special things in my world get to come inside my heart and stay. And now, I realize how deeply my life has been touched by you.

Everything I do (I do it for u)

2008-09-03T14:46:00.003+08:00

I know that you are not perfect and nor can I claim to be either, but please believe me, when I say that I want to be by your side, to hold your hand, to treasure you in the morning and in the noon-tide, to be next to you, to comfort you, dry your tears and calm your most frightening fears, to fight your battles and show no shame to scream my love for you out loud all over the land.
I really Do!!!

I wish i could tell u this now but i dont think it is possible cause i am afraid that u might not be able to accept it! But its ok, i just got to say its a dream come true.

Like i always say "Every man loves two women; one is the creation of his imagination, and the other is not yet born" But for me she is the birth of my imagination....

My aim before this year end!!!

2008-09-01T21:55:00.006+08:00

The Biggest question is

ARE U READY ???

Why is it so hard??

2008-08-29T00:11:00.003+08:00

I really dont understand why people are always like that?? No matter u are in studies or any other sports there will always be a same problem!!! When u are from Group A u must be enemies with Group B. This thing have always been around the whole time!! Come on man my thinking is i dont care what Group u are from... U only live in this freaking world for this long why must we be enemies ?? Can't we be friends??? Maybe people are just more self concern about their group in the reailty world!! I dont know what others are thinking now after reading this but all i know is u can't be friends with all the group cause it is IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

All i know is that power and money makes the world go round....

Wildcards

2008-08-27T01:13:00.005+08:00

Today went down to have my first serious training during this 3 month!!! Was quite fun training at wildcards. I wouldn't say much let the pic do the talking!!! cause a pic is worth a million words!!!

Didn't take a lot of pic cause my stupid cam out of battery!!!

Guess what stunt is zhi liang is taking about??

Simin bow and arrow!!! IS nice de la!!

It's not the fault of student if he/she fails because the year ONLY has 365 days...

2008-08-24T14:43:00.002+08:00

typical academic year for a student:

Sundays - 52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.
Summer holidays - 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Days left 263.
8 hours daily sleep - 130 days GONE. Days left 141.
1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.
2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing) - means 30 days. Days left 96.
1 hour for talking (man is a social animal) - means 15 days. Days left 81
Exam days - per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
Quarterly, half yearly and festival (holidays) - 40 days. Days left 6.
For sickness - at least 3 days. Days left 3.
Movies and functions- at least 2 days. 1 day left.
That 1 day is your birthday. How can you study on that day ?!?!?!?!?!

Balance = 0' How can a student pass ?????

To all the people out there taking exam "good luck for your exam!!!"

A deal with .....

2008-08-18T19:12:00.006+08:00

For the sake of takin STUPID pic with someone n to hav an EXPENSIVE meal with someone ! (quote by her)

I GONNA study hard now!!!!!

cause taking picture is my worse nightmare and not to mention STUPID pic!!!

If you can have 1 week ....

2008-08-17T00:47:00.001+08:00

ok... as in you know that person will never ever like you...
u have this 1 week with him/her... you can love him/her and have sex (for you horny people out there), and do everything for him/her and he/she will be very touched... He/she will still be the same person in character but be more receptive towards your love and pursuits (will reciprocate his/her love towards you)

but , at the end of 1 week, time will reverse back... everything that ever happened for the past week will cease to exist (never happened)... as in his/her affection towards you will be gone. Whatever wrongs or rights you did in that week (including towards anyone) will be such that it never happened

Will you want?

Past memory

2008-08-15T15:43:00.006+08:00

picture remove***

The worst pain in the world is knowing that she meant everything to you but you meant nothing to her. But, life goes on once you realize your own strength inside of you: the strength to realize that saying goodbye doesn't mean that you don't love the person anymore or that you don't want to keep them in your life. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means that you've the strength to let go and live your life to the fullest because you've learned that life really is good. You are strong and can only be as happy as you choose

Working as a construction worker

2008-08-14T21:16:00.002+08:00

view from the back stage

Yesterday went to work as a CONSTRUCTION worker. Got this lobang from yixun. My job is to tear down the lighting use during NDP so that makes me work at marnia bay.Was really quite fun and not to mention the pay was good too. Work from 11am to 7.30pm and the pay was 70 bucks also lunch and dinner provideD!!! Why would i say this is easy casue the most of time time we are slacking instead of working!!!!

work from 11am to 1pm

lunch break from 1pm to 2.30pm

work for like 15 mins than rest for 30mins

dinner break at 6.30pm till 7.15pm

work for like 15mins and its time to go home!!!

My whole body is like barbecue so BLACK LA

Nice job right haha. Btw it is a life time experience cause i now can feel how those people working as a construnction worker!!! What people dont know is that setting up and tearing down the NDP lighting and stage was tough job man. Clap clap** to those worker who fixed it!!!

Back in cheer!!!

2008-08-12T17:25:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was the happiest day for me during this 3 month...Fianlly i get to cheer again. All thanks to Channg Ru. I went to Tp blaszer with Channg and regine. REally enjoy myself there. Blaszer people are nice and friendly. Did a bit of stunting with them and worse thing of all i LOST ALL MY SKILL AND STRENGTH!!! This is becuase of the 3 month "break" i take..... But not to worry, I promise in a month time i am going to be in my cheerleading condition again!!!!

One person that really impress me is **** from tp blaszer!!!
He is not only good but he is one person i seldom see who have such a Discipline.

I am very very very sorry for a flyer in blaszer casue i fail to catch her when she was pop down!!! Her head hit the ground straight!!! I am so sorry to the flyer that because it hurts!!!
So sorry!!!

Aim for myself
- toss to hand a 100% hit in one month time!!!

Time for stunting??

2008-08-11T01:31:00.005+08:00

Flyer= deanna

Flyer= Yiting

Flyer= Yi jun

Been quite a while since i last cheerlead....Because of some problems i Left nyp cheerleading team. If i told u that i dont miss cheer, I am LIEING!!!! I miss cheer badly. Even though i am not in cheerleading anymore, i still went to youtube watching cheerleading video, mixing cheerleading music and cheerleading related stuff for example hand stand!!!! Today i browse those photo i've took during my training days!!! I still remember the feeling was so great and i just can't bear to forget it. No cheerelading training = no more pact no more strength!!!!

Any team need a male cheerleader??? I am WILLING TO JOIN!!!!! Any takers?? Haha

Bottom of my heart

2008-08-08T20:07:00.002+08:00

身邊的時刻......

我沒有一股很特別的魅力可以吸引妳..也沒有一張很帥氣的臉龐可以讓妳欣賞..

但我卻有一顆最真誠的心還有一雙溫暖的手.來陪著妳牽著妳走下去.!

Time to hit the gym and build up becasue i AM FAT AGAIN!!!

我不會...

2008-08-07T17:24:00.005+08:00

我不會...

想念一個人，因為需要衝動的感覺。

思念一個人，因為需要深刻的烙印。

接近一個人，因為需要滿懷的誠意。

愛上一個人，因為需要十足的勇氣。

放棄一個人，因為談何轻易。

我只想告訴你～

因為緣分所以相逢
因為喜歡所以疼惜
因為真心所以給你
因為有你所以幸福
因為真愛所以唯一
因為值得所以愛你

所以放棄你。。。。

Bradley birthday

2008-08-06T22:52:00.005+08:00

Birthday boy and his pack of condom!

Prove!!!

Today is bradley birthday, went out with jeremy and joesph to celebrate his birthday...Went to watch MONEY NOT ENOUGH 2. Was quite a nice show, a show truely talk about what life in singapore is. After the movie, we dare brad to get a packet of condom. He DID get it. The photo is the prove. Overall was a nice day. Tml is my presentation!!! Friday is my java exam!!! SO MANY THING SO LITTLE TIME!!!

WHOA,WHAT A DAY

2008-08-05T23:13:00.005+08:00

The rose among the torns. The ladies and me
(ps.Who is the rose??)

WE guys!!!

WHY ARE U ALL STARING AT MY CHEST!!!!

I am back. Today went to school for presentaion for the main java project. It was quite already thanks to the ladies who help me debug...Went to new york new york with my class. I ACTUALLY had chocolate!!! Can u belive it !! thats what the ladies are saying. haha. It is quite true i seldom eat chocolate. If i am not wrong the last time i had a chocolate was last year during my birthday. Haha, the chocolater at new york new york was so NICE. The taste of chocolate in my mouth once again was great. But too bad the next time i am haveing chocolate will be like dont know when..... Overall today was a great day for me...

Stress and tried

2008-07-31T22:56:00.003+08:00

Whoa, long time never blog already. Seems to me that so many things to do but so little time. Project, report, Project, report and what more Project, report AGAN. Today my team did great for our presentation. After all those sweat it still worth it. Before the day of the presentation, my team stay back and started doing our report and powerpoint from 1pm till 10pm. what more is that each of us stay up until very very late in the night to finish our part. I slept at 1.30am, wake up at 3am to get the finish copy of powerpoint and report from pei wen. Its like rotate shift. Pei wen went to sleep after that. I started to read through the report and PPT until i fall asleep at 5.45am. WORSE OF ALL, i woke up at 8am when our team was suppose to meet at 8 am in school. lucky my dad send me to NYP if not sure gone case. Took lots of funny and interesting pic today. Thats all for today, tml is gym time again.

Lost count in training

2008-07-24T22:03:00.003+08:00

Hello everyone, was very very busy this few days so dont have time to update!!! Die le, i lose count of my training days. I didn't train for like 3 days le not because i am lazy k was really too busy. Today finally went to gym. The most sian thing is i took a COMFORT CAB to school. Dont have enough cash so decided to pay by nets! WHo knows the taxi uncle told me NETS SPOIL!!!!
Lucky i was meeting joseph and alex before going into gym if not i confirm die le!!!

Edwina train me for today gym lesson!

Below are what i did

Bench press {4 sets 10 reps ->60kg, 70kg, 80kg, 85kg(total weight plus barbell)}
Dumbbell bench press {4 sets 10 reps ->35lbs, 40lbs, 45lbs,50lbs(each dumbbell)}
Cross cable {4 sets 10 reps -> 20lbs, 30lbs, 35lbs(each side)}
triceps pull down {4 sets 10 reps -> 30lbs, 35lbs, 40lbs, 45lbs}
lats pull down {4 sets 10 reps -> 35lbs, 45lbs, 50lbs, 55lbs}
Bumbbell Shoulder press {4 sets 10 reps -> 25lbs, 30lbs, 35lbs 40lbs}

no picture casue phone spoil...any kind soul want to buy me one???

11th day in training

2008-07-19T00:02:00.004+08:00

Hello everyone, its update time le.
Today went school to gym before lesson start with jeremy alex and joseph!!!But joseph never turn up and alex came at only when me and jeremy was about to leave the gym.Haha.They can be count as my GYM partner le also go gym with me one. Like in 6 months time the 4 of us will be fit le!!! haha, dream to be accomplish.
Today i did my arms and some running to reduce my body fats!!!!Can't wait to the 50thday in training. At that point of time can really compare how much i change!! Hope i became fitter not FATTER!!!.

Finally i finish my java project, can take a breath now!!!

10th day in training

2008-07-16T22:44:00.003+08:00

Today i had no school but still went back to school to do my java project. Reach school at 10am and went swimming with jeremy till 11am++. Didn't go gym cause a bit lazy ah so chanage to swimmming for today. From 1pm we start to do out java project till 8pm... We went round the whole SIT to look for lecturer for help but in the end we found none.....So we just turn ourself to a empty tutorial room and try to figure it out ourself!!! When we are about to give up, we saw miss cher at another room teaching secondary school students flash.... We took our last chance and ask her for help..... FINALLY, we got help. She really help jeremy and me a lot. All i got to say is THANK YOU, next time treat u drink JAVA !

9th day of training

2008-07-15T21:13:00.002+08:00

(i was using my right hand to cover up my FATS!!)

Today went gym with jeremy,alex and joseph. They did chest for today as for me Edwina hlep me plan a rountie of excerise to follow. I did according la. The rountie was tired sia. Edwina is a fitness trainer attach down there and somehow i became her guinea pig!!!

Below are the rountie

Bench press {5 sets 10 reps ->40kg, 45kg, 50kg, 55kg, 60kg(total weight)}

Dumbbell bench press {4 sets 10 reps ->35lbs, 40lbs, 45lbs(each dumbbell)}

Cross cable {4 sets 10 reps -> 20lbs, 30lbs, 35lbs(each side)}

triceps pull down {4 sets 10 reps -> 25lbs, 35lbs, 40lbs, 45lbs}

biceps curl {4 sets 10 reps -> 20lbs, 25lbs, 30lbs, 35lbs }

lats pull down {4 sets 10 reps -> 35lbs, 45lbs, 50lbs, 55lbs}

Dumbbell fly {4 sets 10 reps -> 15lbs, 20lbs, 25lbs }

Bumbbell Shoulder press {4 sets 10 reps -> 25lbs, 30lbs, 35lbs}

Ran 1.2km

Ps (Edwina is STRONG, Guys dare to challenge her in pull up?? u dont stand a chance)

8th day of training

2008-07-14T21:47:00.002+08:00

Hmmm don't seem to see any process from the first day till now le... I guess i never put in enough or am i too eager to see the result...But nvm i will not give up!!!

ANYONE WANT JOIN ME TO GYM???? BE IT GUY OR GIRL!!!

Today my class people go watch movie but i didn't join them instead i went to GYM..Crazy right!! haha

Today i train

Shoulder

ran 1.2 km in 6 minutes

Thats all for today.... Going off to do my java project!!

6th day of my training

2008-07-12T22:15:00.004+08:00

Recently was quite busy so didn't update daily BUT I DID TRAIN EVERYDAY~!

Thursday was my off day for training ( arms toopain already from wed training)

Friday didn't go to gym but did my rountie push up and pull up.

250 push up

40 pull up

Saturday which is today!!!

Run around my house area for 2 rounds ( big round not small one)

Did hand stand training for like 45mins

25 pull up

Dont belittle hand stand casue it sure me sweat like mad and my WINGS are coming out becasue of hand stand but pls be very careful when doing it. Now trying to do a number 7.

3rd day of my training

2008-07-09T17:12:00.004+08:00

Today i trained my arms. Whoa the feeling was so SHIOK ah, so long never had this kind of feeling already. I try until my arms are in pain when i was just carry my school bag!!! Today was kind of funny, our class guys keep dicussing about PORN & some human organ.....

2nd day in training

2008-07-08T17:55:00.005+08:00

Today went gym with 2 of my classmate Alex and Joseph. Feel kind of shock!!! Dont be, casue they also want a nice figure... Alex want to have Six SOILD ADBS. As for Joseph he want to be bigger in size!!!

what i did today----->

Manual bench press 30kg each side(max)

Manual 45deg bench press 20kg each side(max)

Cross cable

..............

First day of my training

2008-07-07T23:13:00.001+08:00

Today is my first day of my training..

Below are the things i did for today

Ran 1.2km in 5.47sec

Train shoulder today

I think i look like those stupid guy in this picture!!!

New HAIR

2008-07-07T23:05:00.006+08:00

Today, got up quite early and got myself a new hair cut.... A lot of people in school was quite shock to see me in "that" kind of hair style.Haha maybe is i seldom style my hair ba.

Went to see ..... after my gym, thet are trying out paperdoll! Quite a interesting stunt thats all i can say. All the best for them!! i think some of them saw me but just unsure ba cause maybe i got a new hairstyle!!!

Fitness training

2008-07-06T22:44:00.002+08:00

I am going to start a 50 day fitness training for myself.

After every training i will take a pic down and post the excersie i do down here.

So which kind soul want to join me???

Fitness training start on 7/7/08....

How cruel can life be???

2008-07-06T22:36:00.002+08:00

Finish watching a video on ........ After watching it, my heart shatter and as if i a the person innside. I can somehow feel the pain she is going throught and how she felt.... I just can't picture it out HOW cruel can human be.

Something i learn and i will always remember

Never even cheat someone feeling
Pls think CLEARLY before u do something
If u never did anything wrong u dont need to be afraid of anything

I guess i shouldn't be studying IT, i should be studying human emotion and human life......

Can i really give it up??

2008-07-02T19:17:00.006+08:00

Today i did a fitness test and finally the thing i am most worry about happen!!!! My stamina! I knew all along my stamina is worse of all just that i also ran away from it, dont want to face it.

This are my fitness result

77 push up in 1 min

44 situp in 1 min

55cm for sit and reach

Body fat % --->16.7%

i can burn 1838cal everyday without excersie

My Stamina is super super extra poor (the stamina chart lousy grade is 127 or below belong to very poor but i am 166!!!

I guess its time i got to face my stamina problem.....time to run!!!!

Today is wed and i just get my mind thinking that i got cheerleading today but i just quited. I dont know why but there is always this werid feeling in side my heart as if something is missing after i quited... I still remember the first time i came into this sport, people laught at me mock at me and say all sort of things to me but i still endure it till the last moment. In the end i was still knock out ..... why can't i be a little stronger just like the song of my blog?

If i can turn time back i will still join cheerleading cause thats what makes my life in poly interesting!

Happy or sad???

2008-07-01T22:10:00.004+08:00

Today went gym with my class guys, was quite a fun thingy when u see all of your friends are

doing work out with u. This sense of happiness is the best u can get in the gym cause u are not

alone training yourself...

As for cheerleading,

Finally i found out where the problems lie with. Last time i always thought that the problems is

not with me is always on other people but today things change and it finally slap it hard on me,

making me wake up from my dream.... I saw how the team go on without me and they are doing

great and all the juniors are having a great time. As a cheerleader senior, what i want to see in

the junior is that they are enjoying the time they spend here. The smile on them is really from

the bottom of their heart, a smile which a cheerleader must have. All i got to say the team is

better off without me cause

i know i fail as a senior, a cheerleader and the worse of all i brought so much pain and suffering to each and everyone of u.

Leaving cheerleading is one thing but leaving a person i deeply love is another hurting issue

which i can't bear to but i don't have a choice. I dont need anyone to know the real reason why i

am leaving but all i got to say leaving cheerleading is a big impact to me.

To juniors who are reading this post,

U can say that i am a sucker, loser or what ever u want to curse me but i got to say that the time i spend with u all are the most wonderful time i had in cheerleading. Yi xun is much more experience than me in cheerleading, so in future he will guide u all to a higher level and to a new standard..

Goodbye cheerleading

A new regret added!!

2008-07-01T00:08:00.003+08:00

Today was quite a funny day me for me. I find it silly in a way that i am too silly to make the

WRONG CHOICE half a year ago!!! I feel like laughting over my stupiest!!!

Maybe nowdays there is a new game call the "Quitting Game". Quite interesting. I think sooner

or later i should give it a try....

Time to release some anger

What is this when someone say i am perfectly fine with the juniors.....(so i just take it as ahem)

Maybe u can say i have high ego or say kahau is such a non-understanding person, irrespondable

person BUT let me say this since u think i am like this CONFRONT ME

STRAIGHT (i swear i wouldn't even lay a finger on u)....

Thats the end for today....

I am tired of this game le, let just end it someday.....